I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
