they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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