Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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