you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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