i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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