She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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