if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize