So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
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