finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
