yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
