There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
