i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
The power of my boobs compel you
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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