How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
