The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
