It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
