I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
