Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
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