i was born a porn star she said
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize