wanna go halves on a baby?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Randomize
