Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
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