I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
