I wish I could punch you in the face.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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