I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
