She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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