I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
