I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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