That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I've blown a few things in my day
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
