It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
