No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
barbara walters just said penis...
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Randomize
