oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
