i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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