Who wears a wallet chain?!
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
try to milk me bitch
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