the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
