My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
