I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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