problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
