We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
