sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize