Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
