My first STD was from a foam party
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
ok first of all what the fuck
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
