She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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