omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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