I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
