her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I miss vodka workout Fridays
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
