yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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