Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize