YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
