dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
