So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
