Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
