My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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