You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
