If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
