dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
handjob tips. give me some.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
